Or what I like to refer to as, how to turn a wussy little boy into a MAN. Maybe I am making too much out of this particular transformation, but I think it is worth talking about. There was and probably still is a thing in the Midwest that starts in late spring in Texas and works its way to North Dakota. It is “The Harvest”. From what little I know there are companies that have crews who are contracted to harvest crops, for example in Kansas, they harvest mostly wheat, or a thing called sorghum (I never knew what that actually was). They had the big equipment, like combines and trucks to carry the harvested wheat to grain people who would put it in big grain elevators(silos) for further processing and pay the farmer.
The crews that did the harvesting would get paid also as they completed each farm. The phenomenon that I am talking about is the high school kid that gets to join the harvest and work with a crew. He would be the greenhorn, the newbie, the beginner, the rookie, the trainee, whatever you want to call him. For all practical purposes he was an indentured servant for the next three months while he was on summer vacation from school. These crews went from one Podunk town to the next Podunk town harvesting crops. They would start each day before the sun came up and work all day into the night, get some sleep and do it all over again. Day after day, it didn’t matter what day of the week. There were no weekends, only the harvest. Once one farm was completed, they would move on to some other farm in the middle of nowhere and do it all over again. Most of the time meals were provided for the crews by the farmers. Plenty of great food all the time.
The kid, the novice, was doing his share, learning his job and his role, driving combines, and trucks (usually without a drivers license), and earning money that he couldn’t spend because all he did was work and sleep. Saving money was the only option. So here is what you get after this 90-day run. A kid who started as a wimpy little high school kid now has a tan to die for, his body is ripped, I mean he has six packs on six packs, he gained a few pounds, is no longer recognizable as that wimpy high schooler that just 90 days ago joined the harvest. Before the harvest he was bullied, was the butt of all jokes and got no respect. When he returns to school, he is instantly respected. Always has a preferred seat in the cafeteria. Everyone stays out of his way and hopes that he will not remember who actually bullied him or made him the butt of their practical jokes. When he holds court his minions can gather around, hang on every word, and hear about his harvesting adventures and how he amassed such a large bank balance.
First of all, how do you become one of the chosen few to be one of the “Harvesters”. Do you have to know someone, does your family know someone, these jobs are not advertised in the newspaper. Maybe it is because his cousin or uncle are already harvesters. That is probably the answer. Do you have to have any special skills to be a harvester? The idea of being one of these guys did pass through my mind briefly. It never really stuck. I wasn’t about to make those kinds of sacrifices and give up my summer vacation to become an Adonis with a lot of money in the bank. The idea was cool, the reality was something else. I am also sure that it was dangerous to be on the harvest. Falling off a combine, being run over by one, losing appendages to farm equipment, getting serious sun burn rather than an incredible tan…I mean that can turn into skin cancer…right? No time off, that sucks, and then you go back to school. Really? no social life at all. Spend every waking hour with a bunch of harvesters that have no life either. No listening to the 4 Tops, Earth Wind and Fire or any number of other music artists. Give me a break. Who wants to be ripped anyway? At the end of the day, using my mom’s theory, were these harvester’s, with incredible bodies and huge bank accounts and the pick of any girl in school really happy. Probably not. I have to believe that.
I needed to play golf, hang out, put zinc oxide on my nose and kick back and enjoy my summer vacation, without getting too much sun. I needed that break. I cherished my summers… which makes me think about “summer school”. I never understood that whole thing. I could not understand why anyone would voluntarily screw up their summer by going to school. It was unnatural and yet people would do it… willingly. There had to be a screw loose somewhere… you got the time off, had little or no responsibilities for three months and you could sleep in every day. This was almost too good to be true. I know, I will sign up for summer school, for no apparent reason, and completely ruin my summer vacation. What were they thinking, taking one class, why… did it change anything other than arbitrarily ruining their vacation? Did they think that this activity would somehow be rewarded by their teachers? Would they be viewed differently for being willing to attend summer school. No way…the only reason that I can think of is that they had to do it or not graduate. That is the only scenario that I can accept. Anything else is totally absurd. Being a slug, doing nothing, watching grass grow, almost anything would be better than sitting in a classroom during summer vacation. I guess you all now know my feelings on educational opportunities offered in the summer. What you end up with are students who take time out of their vacation to attend school and teachers who take time out of their vacation to teach classes during the summer. Both are ridiculous. Now ask a friend or a student why they are doing this. Their responses might include… It is a great way to spend the summer. This is a class that I wanted to take, but I couldn’t fit it into my schedule, but I was able to attend it during summer school. Classes in summer school are easier so I get better grades. It is more fun than doing nothing and I feel like my summer is enhanced by the experience. I feel better about myself and I am bettering myself by going to summer school. Don’t tell me any of this, I would just as soon be deaf as hear any of these lame reasons. Finally, I get some honesty…I am taking the class because if I don’t, I won’t graduate. Thank you for being honest. You now have credibility with me. Just don’t interrupt my doing nothing to share your summer educational experiences. To me, this activity is the same as detention, the only difference is that you have chosen to do it rather than be there because you had to be punished for something. I am sure there are those who would take exception to my opinion on Summer School. To those of you who can honestly defend your decision to enroll, my only response is that you must not have a life to begin with. All I ask is one good reason to do it. If you believe that reason…great…all I can say is that it is a good thing that our noses can’t get longer like Pinocchio when we LIE!!! I want you to keep a straight face when you tell me that attending Summer School was really just a natural extension of the normal school year and that I plan on attending summer school on all of my future summer vacations, it keeps my mind sharp and the entire experience is very gratifying, plus I already have no friends and the summer school teachers are nice to me. That explains everything. Your creative explanation could provide a spring board for you in the future. You might want to consider creative writing as a career.
