I would venture to guess that most of the people reading this article have probably had at least one colonoscopy. It is one of those things that you are supposed to do to help identify any bad things like cancer that are present so they can get rid of them and you can stay healthy or at least alive. Also I doubt that you will be reading articles about colonoscopies in other blogs. Just sayin.
I have had several of these. I am going to recount my first one. It was the one that I remember most vividly. Maybe because it was the first. Maybe it was because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Lets face it…once the proctologist suggests that you have the procedure and explains what is going to happen you are a bit concerned. I mean…they are going to do that to me? Then you have to wait for the procedure. It is scheduled and of course, part of the process is to take some pills or drink some magnesium citrate…it is a laxative that cleans out your colon. They now come in a variety of flavors. I don’t remember the one that I drank as having any particular flavor. You start drinking this stuff and OMG…without getting into any details it does an amazing job of cleaning out your colon and probably a lot more. Ok enough on liquid laxatives. You show up in the morning at the prescribed time, you gown up and wait, then they give you some anesthetic that puts you out. You can also have a loved one with you as you wait and eventually go to sleep. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen but once asleep the procedure happens and you wake up. It was all pretty anticlimactic. You don’t even know that it is over. What I remember was one of the first people I see while waking up was the proctologist with two photos of my colon. He seemed pretty proud of them. I didn’t know if these were good or bad because I really had no frame of reference or anything to compare them to. I don’t know if they have photo contests for doctors to submit entries and then they are judged and some doctor with a clear talent for this sort of thing is recognized as being the best. I started thinking that he was going to offer me a photo package that might include 8X10’s, 5X7’s and some wallets. Maybe a sepia finish…you know like Olin Mills. There was no real photo array or any packages offered. When he claimed that the pictures I was looking at were of my colon I took his word for it. I don’t think that I would have wanted these in black and white…I also don’t know how he handled the lighting for the photos. Were there little upside-down umbrellas to diffuse the lighting? Your guess is as good as mine. He did provide these two photos to me at no additional charge. I am not sure what you do with these photos. Do you scrapbook them or maybe have some from each one of your colonoscopies to compare? I doubt that you would frame them and put them on the mantel. Also with the cost of the procedure the photos ended up being pretty expensive…a great deal more than a photo package from Olin Mills.
I started wondering…do proctologists major in proctology and have a minor in photography. I guess that is a possibility. Think about it…once you stop practicing proctology you could always fall back on photography. I would suggest expanding the portfolio of his work to more interesting subjects than colons. I think the subject of photography as it relates to proctology is becoming a bit tedious let’s move on.
The good news is that I was told I didn’t need to get another one for 5 years. Kathy was told 10 years for her. Should I be concerned that I would need the procedure 5 years before Kathy? The doctor did say that nothing of note showed up so I didn’t need to worry. Since that event, I have had one of these approximately every 5 years since then. So far so good…by the way I am not keeping the photos. There are many other photos of things that I have that I actually like to see and remember. A picture that suggests that I either have or don’t have pollups is not something that I want to keep or frame.
Remember that the idea of a colonoscopy is far worse than the actual event. I found that out on the first one. Good luck to you and I hope that you have the same positive experiences that I have had. Let me know if you keep the photos or not. Incidentally, I have to schedule my next one for early in 2022. It will happen and the photos will not become part of any of my family albums.
