I have four children. Two sons and two daughters. Each one of them is incredible and unique. I love them all more than I can say. They have been there for me since Kathy passed away and they are the reason that I have been able to survive and thrive and make it through the difficult time without the love of my life by my side.
Today I want to share some thoughts about my two daughters. Marti and Nanci. These two have been amazing. Daughters are a little different than sons. I think I had a very special relationship with each of them. As they were growing up, we had some things that we did that were interesting and helped build our relationships. First of all, they got my humor. They took my dry humor and sarcasm and sort of adopted those things. They laughed at most of my corn ball jokes and we would share the sighing and eye rolling that goes with that. Even though I was responsible for having Marti fall out of the pickup truck on the way to the dump and had to wear a football helmet for months afterwards she still liked me and thought my jokes were funny. I taught my daughter Nanci to burp the alphabet. How many fathers can say that? We enjoyed playing board games and I was a huge fan of all of their sports activities, Soccer, Basketball and Swimming. I even was their Soccer coach a number of times…even though I still don’t know the rules of soccer and other than loving to watch my daughters play I still think that professional soccer is about as interesting as watching grass grow. Marti never became a big fan of professional sports or gambled. On the other hand, Nanci loves professional sports…especially the Giants, Warriors and Forty Niners. She is great at fantasy football and is one of the luckiest people I know when it comes to gambling. (In that way she was like her mother). Both of my daughters have huge hearts and really care about others. Marti raised three children. Nanci poured her love and attention toward dogs and they became like her children over the years. Marti is an RN on an Oncology ward. She is very good at what she does. Nanci is a VP with Aramark and has become very valuable to that company. They both are amazing people and I am extremely proud of them.
Marti is an excellent writer and has helped me by reading and editing many of my articles. Nanci is an amazing presenter and manager and the definition of a workaholic. Both of them excel at what they do.
They make it a point to talk to me every week even though Marti is in Chico, CA and Nanci is in Philadelphia, PA. Losing Kathy was a gut punch to all of us. They were strong for me even though I knew they were hurting as much as I was. They never showed that to me. I appreciate their strength. I remember one time when they were growing up and I rented the movie Spaceballs. It was just me, Marti and Nanci. We started the movie and like many Mel Brooks movies once you start laughing it is hard to stop. From the opening scenes where you see the space ship forever we started to laugh and never stopped. We have watched many movies together but that one sticks out in my memory. We also enjoyed the comedy of Louis Anderson and Richard Jeni…we still make reference to some of the jokes in those standup routines. Funny is funny period. We all liked the Jerk and Saturday Night Live when it was good. My daughters were never girly girls…they were strong and very sensible and still are. I credit Kathy for that. Her influence made both of them who they are today. Frankly, other than the fact that it is funny I don’t think burping the alphabet really developed Nanci’s character. We enjoyed Indian Princesses and had all kinds of good times to share regarding those years. Marti was Little Fire and Nanci was Little Flame. Good times from first through third grade. We shared many camping experiences and family days…they were patient when we took a trip to Mendocino County and stopped at a Russian Fort where the only person who got out of the car with me was Marti. I couldn’t coax anyone else out of the car that day. We also had a family day when we went to Malakoff Dry Diggins and on the way back stopped at an out of the way convenience store that reminded us of Deliverance. I was the only person who got out of the car at that place and I don’t remember if I went inside or simply turned around and came back to the car and got the heck out of there.
I do remember reading bedtime stories to both of them each night. No specific one but it was a nightly ritual. Marti did help me repair the Datsun which took months. She helped me identify each part so that we could put everything back together and it actually started when we finished the project.
We played Pictionary and both of them would get the answer without any real logic. We did a lot of Charades and they were extremely good at it. Password was another game where they would get the answers without any logic. It was like they already knew the answers. Not that much fun to play with them when they always win. Nanci is still a big game player and she hosts game nights at her house. One of the most fun games is Awkward Family Photos. If you haven’t played it… get the game and you will have a blast.
Sorry, Careers, Monopoly, Scattergories, Ticket to Ride, Dominoes, Rummy, Yahtzee, Clue, Scrabble and Boggle…. these were probably the most popular games…. also Mexican Train. Along the way we would try new games and they were fun and would come and go over the years. Getting together having the banter and enjoying each other was what made it all work. I don’t think the focus was always on winning…although we were all very competitive.
Kathy and I would host Christmas most years. One of the nights we would set up game tables in the family room and everyone would participate in the games. We would rotate from table to table and keep a running score for everyone. At the end of the night, we would pass out prizes. It was a great night and fun for all of us.
I won’t go into much more detail about my daughters. They are both great individuals and have given me many wonderful memories. I love them both and look forward to the years ahead.
