This article is dealing with the projected side effects of various drugs. I find this entire subject near and dear to me. I am always amazed, when there is an ad on TV about a new drug coming on the market, how much of the ad is focused on side effects. I am sure that the drug companies need to protect themselves and their attorneys must also consider full transparency with regard to some of the potential side effects that can happen when you take this particular drug. I am going to have a little fun with this because once the ad starts to list side effects, they lose me. I start to think that even though the company has just suggested that by taking this drug you will immediately solve the problem, then they list the potential side effects in some detail, up to and including death. I know that most of the containers that the drugs come in list the potential side effects. My problem is that I need a bright light and incredible focus to read the list. Frankly, today they have actually expanded the label creatively to allow more content regarding the drug and the side effects. For the sake of this article and the fact that most of this is not easy to read I am going to suggest what is included in these long lists of side effects….
This drug may cause or lead to…headache, muscle ache, fever, frowning, whining, excessive whining or complaining, sniveling, snoring, bad breathe, nosebleed, coughing, sneezing, blurred vision, double vision, lack of vision, blindness, stupidity, shortness of breath, chest pains, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, common or otherwise, constipation (sometimes you can’t win), internal bleeding, external bleeding, rash, itching, back pain, side ache, warts, tennis elbow, fallen arches, plantar fasciitis, the inability to swallow pills, pulled muscles, Achilles heel, hemoglobin (I just like saying the word), stiff neck, sore toe, athlete’s foot, clogged arteries, clogging, excessive clogging, abdominal pain (we know it as a tummy ache), strained oblique, difficulty breathing, more coughing, blood in urine, dry mouth, dry eyes, wet eyes, wet mouth, slobbering, boils, shortness of height, redness of cheeks, increased heart rate, inability to perform the butterfly swim stroke, increased road rage, stubbornness, enlarged stuff, enlarged prostate, swelling of anything, shrinking of anything, pregnancy, sore throat, frequency of jumping to conclusions, varicose veins, increased sarcasm, rolling of the eyes, sighing, stuttering, forgetting your lines, excessive showboating, lethargic, excessive laziness, misspelling, groaning, lots of things hurt, stumbling, shuffling, excessive use of a walker, numbness, sharp pains, dull pains, pains in the neck, it hurts when you raise your arm too high, toothache, lose feeling in your fingers, excessive feeling in your fingers, stroke, weight loss, weight gain, (again sometimes you can’t win), enema, (I just thought I should use that term), anxiety, high anxiety, shyness, sweating, hot and cold flashes, the runs, goose bumps, excessive use of bumper stickers, reading between the lines, excessive use of clichés, road rage, attaching personalities to inanimate objects, hemorrhoids, excessive imaginary ailments, taking too many drugs, chills, chilling, excessive chilling, tweets are too long, falling off ladders, excessive use of cell phones, toe stubbing, gall stones, kidney stones, pushing shopping carts outside stores, slurring words, hoarding, over eating, excessive use of the smiley face and thumbs up emoji’s, bloating, the inability to form complete sentences, chasing cars, impaired judgement, excessive use of the left hand, inability to stop adding symptoms, excessive jogging, excessive counting of Prime Trucks, watching too many drug ads, putting your doctor on speed dial, inability to throw a curveball, strong desire to raise rabbits, urge to cut in line or cut someone off when driving, unusual need to watch “The Cutting Edge” or “The Princess Bride.” , did I say nausea, hives, hickeys, black tongue, excessive flehm, several kinds of discharge (not going to elaborate), coma and death.
I am sure that this is not an exhaustive list. I will leave that to the attorneys when they depose plaintiffs, victims, witnesses, drug executives, etc. Only then will we know the true effects of these drugs on human beings.
In the meantime, remain skeptical, question any claims that are made, and continue to perpetrate conspiracy theories. It also helps if you just stay healthy so you don’t have to take any of these drugs. For the most part I only read the dosing directions because all of the warnings would require a magnifying glass to read and I might find out that one of the side effects is blurred vision.
