We are actually beginning to approach the Holiday Season. Well at least it is kind of around the corner. Having said that and being reminded by my daughter in law that Christmas Stuff is already finding its way to retail shelves at Hobby Lobby I started to think about the season. More specifically, I was thinking about Christmas Movies. Now we all are familiar with the classics, It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, The Christmas Story, Home Alone, Elf, and Bad Santa (just kidding). Of course, those classics are something we cherish and try to make time to watch with our loved ones and family around the Holidays. Alright I didn’t have to separate loved ones and family. Technically they are one in the same. I will admit that for many years those classics were enough for me. It satisfied my craving for Holiday Movies. One year about 10 years ago I ventured out of the comfort of those classics and into the abyss that is Lifetime Christmas Movies. In the beginning it was just a few and they would play them each year. Now it is possible to watch these Cheesy Christmas Movies 24/7. One of my guilty pleasures was to go to bed after Kathy had gone to sleep and binge watch these movies. I didn’t bother anybody it was just me and those movies.
One of the biggest challenges is to assign fresh and interesting titles to these movies. There are a few tired plots that you might be familiar with, here is one, if you actually watched these movies. You know who you are and I don’t blame you for not coming out of the closet. Here we go… The man or woman has a great job in a big city. He or she has to go to some little town over the holidays because of some lame reason that has been contrived by the writer. It is there in this quaint perfect holiday town that he or she meets someone at a Christmas Dance, Holiday Festival or Cookie Bake Off and falls in love. Suddenly that promotion that was hanging over his or her head has come to fruition but only if he or she abandons their new love and returns to the horrible big city. Sound vaguely familiar. These stories are predictable and I’m sorry…I can’t not watch them. I am hopelessly hooked on this stuff. I used to joke with my wife and kids about watching these movies. I started suggesting that I was over them. That I no longer could watch these things. Unfortunately, some of the repeaters were movies that I really liked. Today the pool has been diluted with many more movies than ever before. I think it is about time that the pendulum swings the other way. We now have way too many of these movies. I am even seeing the same actors in these movies. I think the product needs to be reevaluated. Maybe instead of “First Christmas Kiss”, “A Peppermint Christmas”, “I Will Always Return To Quaintsville”, “No Town Is Too Small For Christmas” or “Falling In Love with Christmas”. The list is endless. Throw originality out the door…there are so many now that even the titles are redundant. “It Snowed at Christmas”, then “It Really Snowed at Christmas”, followed by “It Really Really Snowed at Christmas”. Then there are the geographic Titles… “Christmas in Vermont”, “Christmas Next to Vermont in Connecticut”, “Enjoying a Special Christmas in Upstate New York”. I am suggesting that we expand the content to include things like… “A New Drug For Christmas”, “She Never Said I Would Find That Under The Tree”, “I Don’t Know What You Want, I Am In A Christmas Fog”, “All I Want For Christmas Is A Small Child”, “How I Learned To Sing Christmas Carols An Octave Higher”, “50 Shades of Christmas”, “Revealing Her Christmas Secret”, “You Proved It, You Can Hang Christmas Lights on Anything”, “It Shimmers In The Moonlight”, and “We Are Not Taking A Sled Down That Road”. We are leaving out Internet references like…”It was an Instagram Christmas”, “How Texting Brought Us Together at Christmas” and maybe “It Won’t Be Christmas Since I Lost My Laptop in the Snow in Vermont”. To a Cheesy Christmas Movie aficionado I believe that unique and interesting and maybe even shocking might be a way to go. We haven’t even touched Super Heroes. “Deadpool Does Christmas”, “I Saw Captain America Having Hot Chocolate in Vermont at Christmas”, “Mutant Ninja Turtles Enjoy The Holidays”. Let’s not forget the possible ID Channel Titles…”Wives With Knives at Christmas”, “Evil Lives in the Snow in Vermont at Christmas”, “I Almost Died Trying to Leave The Holiday Festival” , “Murder Comes to Quaintsville at Christmas”, “These Christmas Cookies Taste Funny”, “The Locked Room At The Top of The Stairs at Christmas”, “My Uncle Really Really Loves Me at Christmas” and “DNA Doesn’t Prove Anything at Christmas In The Snow In Vermont”.
Let’s face it, these movies are here to stay, I love to be surprised. I am a hopeless romantic who also happens to love everything about Christmas. People insist that Die Hard is not a Christmas Movie…let them believe that. I get teary eyed at the end every time. Enjoy these movies. They have become an integral part of the Holidays. Maybe we should have an on-line chat room or a group that likes to talk about these movies. Like a Cheesy Christmas Movie Support Group. I will continue to look for new titles each year and heck they will be starting soon. Can’t Wait. (Judging from this article I need more human contact.)
Think of it, these are quickly becoming a Christmas Tradition like decorating the tree, baking Christmas cookies, buying presents, remembering why we have Christmas in the first place, going to see the Nutcracker or the Messiah or both, attending a Christmas Festival, decorating the house inside and out, singing Christmas Carols, leaving milk and cookies out for Santa, reading The Night Before Christmas with the family, getting together with family and friends, driving by amazing houses decorated for Christmas, watching the Classic Movies and of course Watching Cheesy Christmas Movies, I almost forgot…texting your friends about all of this… that is probably the essence of the Holidays today and sharing selfies and short videos. I refuse to get on a soap box about how we have reduced what used to be an amazing interactive experience into the solitude of each person, a phone and your fingers. Unfortunately, you can’t open a present with your phone, or experience a phone hug yet… maybe that is next. Whatever… Covid hasn’t helped it has actually perpetuated the lack of physical interaction. I will continue to vicariously imagine being with my family, sharing the time together, the banter with everyone, charades, actually singing Christmas Carols and enjoying what can only be accomplished by humans. Think about it we are the only animals on earth who can do these things… isn’t that enough to encourage us to continue doing these things. I hope so. Merry Christmas to you all. I will step down from my lofty perch on that soap box and go back to texting all of my Holiday wishes to some of the greatest people on the planet. Yes, all those “little people” that make this world GREAT!!!
